Blended family traumas

Getting kids to do chores in our house has always been an issue.  When I first met Chippendale, widower with three children, the only thing his children did was empty the dishwasher.  They were 11,14 and 16 and they sat around while Dad cooked, cleaned, ironed, washed - did everything really.

I have always had to nag my two to do chores but I don't give up.  I don't see why I should work and then come home and do everything for them.  They can help wash up, cook, do the washing and cleaning.

Coming together as a family has highlighted our differences.  Chippendale would rather do everything himself than make children do chores.  I expect everyone to pull their weight and get very annoyed at children who sit around waiting for us to feed them, do the shopping or run them around - and do nothing to help.

Not being able to do much domestically after the hysterectomy has been terrible.  I have been trapped in the untidy house with dishes everywhere, stacks of washing not hung up, and floors crying out to be cleaned and just had to live with it.

I would love to say the kids stepped up and helped but that would be a big fat lie.  In fact Miss 17 has done even less than normal.

Yesterday she did nothing at all - left the dishes she was assigned to in the morning, did her part time job, came home, got ready and went out to the movies.  Unfortunately Chippendale made the mistake of telling me that my daughter, Miss 13, had not cleaned the toilet properly.  She had done the dishes Miss 17 had not bothered to do, cleaned the bathroom and swimming pool but he concentrated on what she had not done properly.  I agreed with him and supervised her cleaning the toilet and sink but was fuming.  His daughter, Miss 17 did nothing at all except earn money for herself, watch a movie and eat dinner with friends.  He said nothing to her.

It really strains a relationship and Chippendale and I barely spoke the rest of the evening.  It is always Chippendale's parenting of Miss 17 who causes this situation.  He favours her, she flirts and plays up to him and he has no discipline with her.  Close family friends have pleaded with Chippendale to get this child under control but he struggles to a standstill.

There is a great book - Princess Bitchface - which describes Miss 17 perfectly.  Sweet as pie, charming and lovely but moody, selfish and manipulative.  Only another 18 months before she leaves home.......