Verucca removal v hysterectomy

Verruca versus a hysterectomy

Today I learnt from my 13 year old daughter that her Dad having a verruca frozen off was as bad as the hysterectomy I have recently had.

Miss 13 wants to go to America to sing in the World Choir Games which will cost around $6500.  Her dad and I (acrimoniously divorced) are finding $2500 each and she has to raise $1500.  She was doing a sausage sizzle to raise money with another student who also needs to raise a bit of cash for the games.  A sausage sizzle is a peculiarly Kiwi invention of a pre-cooked sausage heated on a BBQ and then served in a piece of white bread smothered in sweet tomato sauce and as we now know the statistics, one out of four has onions as well.  These sausage sizzles take place up and down the country outside supermarkets, pile-them-high-and-sell-them-cheap-because-everything-is-made-in-China warehouses, DIY shops, soccer and rugby matches.  You sell the sizzled sausage for $2 and it costs around $1 in ingredients. It is slow but predictable fundraising.

I booked a spot for Miss 13 outside the local supermarket and planned to sell sausages all day with her to raise money for her trip.  However, I had a hysterectomy  (and other surgical atrocities to things below the waist) two weeks ago, and was not able to help her with the sausages.

So, I organised my kind-hearted husband - Chippendale - (who is older than the previous one but a considerable improvement), to help instead.  He shopped for the ingredients I listed (200 sausages, 12 loaves of bread, 2 litres of tomato sauce, napkins and rubber gloves).  He arrived at the supermarket, set it all up and left it to Miss 13, Dad (aka Heavybones), Master 8 and fellow fundraising student with his mum.

Chippendale had told me he had bought 240 sausages instead of 200 and the plan was for the fundraising sausage sizzlers to stay until all were sold.  By noon, Miss 13 was texting that they had just about sold out. I text back and said - great - go buy some more and make some more money.

Chippendale was called back to collect the BBQ and by 12.30pm, they had all packed up and gone home.  Turns out Chippendale made a mistake buying the sausages so only bought 120.  So - each child made $55 for their three hours work.  Not bad but could have been double that.

Miss 13 and Master 8 live between Heavybone's and our house week on, week off.  She arrived here after school today and within a few minutes talk turned to sausages.  It would be more accurate to say that talk turned to custard but we were talking about sausages. 

I made the mistake of saying she should have bought more sausages and then could have made more money.  She replied her father had been up since 6am and was so tired, having just had an operation on his foot (he had a verucca removed). I think I snorted.  I certainly sounded amazed that a verucca removal could render him in such pain that three hours selling sausages was crippling him, especially as it had been three days ago and he had two days off to "recover".  Miss 13 told me it was just as bad as my hysterectomy.

There is a great Kiwi ad campaign for Tui beer which says the ridiculous - followed by a kind of sneer at the silly remark.  In this case it would be:

Verucca removal is major surgery like a hysterectomy.

Yeah right!